Deep in the dark parts of Hedingham ORANGES are taking over. Oranges were once a healthy part of our diet but now they are a threat to our very existance.
Once a mild mannered girl from hedingham, TILLY, has mutated into an orange. We believe she is an alien bent on total domination of the planet. If you see her, do not try to challenge her. JUST RUN.
The juice she contains is highly acidic and will melt you into a puddle on contact.
Possible sightings
We are unsure how she became an orange but we have a theory. Back in the late eighties Tilly was exposed to a high quantity of chewy vitamin tablets. The high vitamin C content has morphed her into an Orange. The picture on the right is of an orange believed to be her close friend John. His mum put a smilly face on it to help her come to terms with this tragic transformation.
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Early warning signs
There are three easy steps to finding out if you are turning into an orange.
1) You have turned orange
2) You have gone a strange round shape
3) People want to eat you!
If you have experienced any of the above things, beware!!! You maybe be turning into an orange.
This can take upto a week to do and so we are told is a juicy experience, if not some what messy!
If you are an orange!
Now if the probable has happened, there are steps to avoid being eaten.1) Put a sign on you saying, DONT EAT ME
2) Roll around in something not very nice!
3) Go off
If you see an orange trying to take over the world!
Step on it!
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